Found these snippets among my arsenal of research and felt them worthy of sharing. Basic concepts for consideration when interacting with others on a personal level.
Ask Yourself What This Person is Really About?
Some people are really good at projecting a confident, sexy, fun-loving
spirit or making you feel really attractive and important. But, if you
take a step back, you may want to ask yourself how well you actually know
this person? And how much are they really into you? Do their eyes wander
around the room, looking for their next conquest or who is admiring them?
How do they treat regular people like the waitress or cab driver? If you
listen carefully to what they say, what are the underlying values? Are
they critical and contemptuous of others? Do they remember what you tell
them? How considerate and thoughtful are they? Do they have close
friends or are they close to their family? Asking yourself these
questions can help you move beyond superficial aspects of the person, to
consider qualities that are more important in the long-run.
Use Your Wise Mind
Psychologist Marsha Linehan coined the concept of "wise mind" to describe
a state of mind that integrates logical thinking with emotional awareness.
It is a mindful state in which you make decisions by integrating different
ways of knowing and don't cut off parts of your experience. If you feel an
instant connection with somebody, take this into account, but don't make
it the whole basis of your decision. In wise mind, we don't ignore
emotions, but we also don't get so caught up in them that we see what we
want to see, not what is actually there. In brain terms, wise mind means
integrating our amygdala's intuitive reactions with the wisdom of
past experience and knowledge about the world.
About the Author
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. is a Psychologist in Mill Valley, California, and
expert on mindfulness, emotions, neuroscience, and behavior, Dr
Greenberg provides workshops and speaking engagements for
organizations, life coaching, and psychotherapy for individuals
and couples. She regularly appears on radio shows, and as an expert source
in national media.
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